


Unhinged

by bearlytolerable



Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Crossover, Crossover Pairings, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Developing Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Mutual Pining, Renegon (Mass Effect), Slow Burn, Sole Survivor (Mass Effect), Touch-Starved, You can expect some, but not a heavy focus, like literally so slow, some ptsd
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-10
Updated: 2020-10-25
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:41:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26384308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bearlytolerable/pseuds/bearlytolerable
Summary: James Vega gets roped into guarding Zero Shepard on house arrest. It’s not the way he wanted to meet his favorite hero but it turns out that the universe has a funny way of going about things. Call it fate or destiny or maybe just bad luck, the pair are thrown together for good when Earth is attacked.
Relationships: Female Shepard/James Vega
Comments: 11
Kudos: 12





	1. threshold

**Author's Note:**

> [Unhinged-Mike Lazarev](https://open.spotify.com/track/0F78AWB4E53yOvldzqhgBK?si=qhkQ_9ulQACCAdQUNCPzOQ)

  
He’d been on duty now for two months and never once stepped beyond her door. It was always someone else’s job to bring her a meal but then Anderson had given him a new command. One he’d taken on begrudgingly with a few expletives thrown in for bonus. But Anderson wouldn’t budge and so James found himself knocking and past the threshold.

James had seen the tail end of a comet just as it disappeared from view into a seemingly endless dark space more than once. Blazing. Beautiful. Bright. He might even describe it as breathtaking. Just as he’d describe _her._ Zero Shepard was burned out, crashed on the couch with her head burrowed between her knees. 

“Commander Shepard?” He stepped towards her, the tray of food in hand wobbling a little as he approached. 

She didn’t bother to look up, leaving him unacknowledged and ignored. This bugged him. This woman, his hero-his _role model_ , was not what he made her to be. 

And yet…

“Commander Shepard.” He tried again, steadying the tray while standing like a soldier. _Speaking_ , like a soldier.

She glanced up at him, blinking as if coming to from a long sleep. Or more like a fucking zombie. Or maybe even one of those husks. No, husks move quick. She didn’t seem like she was in any kind of a hurry. Had no plan to be either. Yeah, zombie. That was definitely it.

“Just set it over there.” She waved at the counter where the last meal tray delivered sat untouched. 

“Uh, alright then.”

He did as she asked but took his sweet time doing it, proceeding to question his entire life and why the hell he was reduced to an errand boy, even felt a dose of anger. But then he looked at her again, took a real, hard look. 

“Thanks…” She nodded but paused midway. Like she was searching for something. Recognition? She’d never met him before though. Not up close.

“Vega,” he said and her brows relaxed. “You’re welcome. Let me know if you need anything.”

“Vega,” she sat up straight and placed her feet flat on the floor and ran her hands down her legs. I need you not to call me Commander. Just Zero,” she said. Then she curled back up and faced the window.

The hinges creaked on his way out.

* * *

His next day on Shepard duty was more or less the same, except with fewer words. And the next day. And the next. For an entire week it went on the same before he thought he would lose his mind. So he vowed to change it up as he went in, on a Tuesday, and set the tray down like usual. No small talk this time as it wasn’t helping him make any progress. He opted to try and ruffle her feathers just a tad.

“What kind of name is Zero anyway?” James asked as he perched on the stool at the kitchen counter. He took a bite out of the apple on her tray. 

No response. Per usual. 

“Did your parents name you that or was that a name you gave yourself—something you thought sounded badass? I mean, it’s an alright name, don’t get me wrong.” He took another bite, savoring the sweetness as well as the satisfying crunch as it echoed in his ears. “But not the name I’d give you.”

“Zero was my mother’s choice. Mom believed in numbers. Not names.” 

Finally, something substantial. He wanted more. “Numbers?”

She deflected. “What’s your name?” 

“Come on. Already told you. Vega.”

“No. Not your last name.”

“Quit shitting me, Shepard.”

“I mean it. I can’t access your records, or I’d already know and this conversation would be over. Would’ve never happened to begin with.”

Shit. He’d forgotten about that.

“Right. Sorry. The name’s James.”

“James,” she repeated slowly, testing his name on her tongue. “James. Vega.” 

He liked the way she said his name and briefly wondered about how many more ways she could say it. No, he shouldn’t. She wasn’t his superior but it was the principle. He would think about someone, something else instead. He scanned the room, settling his eyes on the three books there. They all looked the same.

“Uh huh,” he eventually said.

She sighed. “Well, James, this conversation has been absolutely stimulating. But I’ve got to get the fuck out of here.” The small slap of her hands on her knees seemed jarring just before she left the room. 

He blinked then thought it best to show himself out.

* * *

Another week passed. 

It was midnight when he awoke from his position by her door. He hadn’t meant to fall asleep but it happened anyway. He stretched and yawned and readied his gun to make his rounds, which consisted of walking down one end of the hallway to the other. It was the last floor of the building so there was only one way up and one way down, unless you scaled the building like Spider-Man and busted through the window or something. But James doubted that would happen so he walked the minuscule perimeter. Checked the elevator. Then made his way back to his post. Nothing but quiet. 

Until it wasn’t.

He heard glass shatter somewhere in Shepard’s room, then a loud _thump._ There was no time to question.

James burst through the door. “The hell!” 

He rushed to Shepard’s side, blasting his gun in the general vicinity of three assassins. 

“Take the right!” Shep yelled as she dodged an attack.

James obeyed, taking out the one closest to him. He moved on to the second one, knocking them out with the butt of his gun. He’d save that one for interrogation.

Shepard was beating the third to a pulp. Her hands bleeding. Probably broken too.

“Shep, chill. He’s dead.”

He holstered his gun and knelt next to her as she hovered over the body, a blank look in her eyes. 

Gripping her shoulder steadily he said, “hey, you okay?”

She shrugged out from under his touch and stood, sauntering away from him towards the kitchen. He heard the steady stream of water soon after. He glanced down at the unconscious assassin, assumed they’d be out awhile, then went to assist Shepard. 

“Want me to take a look at those.”

“I want you to do your damn job,” she spat.

He’d give her that. She had every right to be pissed. 

_You had one job, man,_ he thought.

“Why don’t you do something useful and go clean up that mess.”

“No problemo,” he said and did as she ordered. Even though it was clearly more than a problem.

It was easy to slide into her command. They could strip away the title but not the leader. He heard her mutter some profanities as he rifled around in the pockets of the dead men. There wasn’t a single morsel of information about where they came from or who cut their paychecks.

Zero. Zip. Nada.

James asked, “Hey, you got any clue who these guys might be? Like, who you pissed off so badly they’d wanna kill ya?”

“I’ve got a list I could give you about 10 miles long.”

James chuckled at that. “Got any at the top of that list?”

“I don’t know. Probably Cerberus. They’re always right up my ass.”

“Probably a good place to be,” he said.

“Really? Are we ten?” She was next to him with a towel over her left hand. 

“Make that twelve.” 

“Jesus fucking Christ.” She rolled her shoulders and sucked a breath in between her teeth. He tried not noticing the red splotches seeping through the white cotton.

So he noticed something else instead. She was a lefty. Nobody ever mentioned that. But why would they? And why the fuck did he care?

“Find anything interesting?” She asked, gesturing to the fallen bodies.

“Nada,” he said. 

“A shame. Tie up that one and clean up the others. I don’t care if you have to throw them out the fucking window. I want them gone when I get back.”

James saluted. “Yes ma’am.”

“Oh fuck you,” she said before turning around.

“In your dreams, Shep,” he shot back. 

She flipped him off before she disappeared into the bathroom. He smirked but it faded when he realized he needed to do something with the bodies.

“Ah, fuck.”

* * *

When Shep returned, James had barely cleaned up a spot of blood and she gave him a disapproving _tsk_ before shaking the third assassin–which he had managed to get tied to a chair–awake.

But when he came to, he muttered some nonsense and then _exploded._ Shep barely managed to dive behind the sofa with James to avoid the oncoming debris.

“Well, guess we have our answer. Shit, I forgot they did that,” Shep said.

“Wait. What?” 

“Cerberus is fucked up, that’s all I have to say.”

“Clearly they’re beyond that,” said James.

She shrugged then went to check the damage.

“Well shit. This is—“ she shook her head.

“Pretty bad. Probably gonna need a new couch.” James said.

“Definitely.” She smiled a little at that.

“Anderson?” James suggested.

“Affirmative.”

James proceeded to call Anderson and explained the situation which earned him an earful but the problem was going to be handled. 

“So… wanna drink?” 

“You’re allowed to have drinks?”

She snorted. “Am I allowed to have drinks? This whole thing is ridiculous. This…” -she gestured around the furnished apartment with its modest modern decor- “is just a slap on my wrist. A punishment to appease the council for my bad behavior. But as soon as the Reapers arrive-just you watch-they’re all going to be at my door, begging me to help. Dumbasses. Wasting everyone’s time.” She made a few more complaints he didn’t catch and waved him off.

“So you really think the Reapers are coming, huh?”

“No, I fucking _know_ they’re coming and they’ve got me locked up in here when I could be out _there_ , doing something about it.” She waved her hand ambiguously in the air but lowered it in defeat a second later. “Let me guess, you don’t believe me either.”

“No, I wasn’t saying that. I just… it’s a lot to take in.”

He should’ve phrased the question as a _when_ and not an _if_.

“Pfff. You don’t believe me.” 

“Look, Shep…” He paused. Fehl Prime wasn’t an easy topic and he wasn’t too sure now was the time to unload but he wanted her to feel less alone. He had no doubt the Reapers were real. He just needed to know how bad it all actually was. 

She held up a hand to cut him off.

“Let me get those drinks,” she said as she rounded the kitchen counter. “I’ve got beer and…” There was some rummaging, glasses tinkling. “That’s it. That’s all I’ve got. Want it in a glass?”

“I’m good with whatever.”

“Glass it is then. We’ll drink this up like the fancy fuckers we are.” 

She brought him the drink and they clinked them together in celebration, sipping and waiting on Anderson.

* * *

A few days later, Anderson delivered news about the assassins.

“Hey, you were right. Cerberus job,” James said.

“Yeah and I hate being right.” 

“So what are you gonna do now?”

“Sit here. Wait for more assassins that I can kill. Nothing else I can do.”

James sighed and rubbed at his temples. “That doesn’t sound like the Shepard I know.”

“Oh really? And which Shepard is that?”

“I mean, the stories about you. You’re a hero and a woman of action.”

She chuckled darkly. “I think it’s safe to say _that_ Shepard is dead.”

He appraised her. “First of all, that was a terrible joke. We gotta work on that. And second of all, the one before me looks pretty damn alive.”

“Well, what do you want me to do? Break out of here and take down Cerberus myself?”

“Sure, why not? I’ll help,” he said with an amused grin.

“And you say my jokes are bad.”

“You’re right. Anderson would hand me my ass if I helped you out of here. So just tell me what you need? I could be your middle man at least.”

“That’s a heavy task. Maybe save it for later,” Shep suggested. “If and when I do get out of this place, I want you on my team. I know that at least.”

“You can bet your ass I’ll have your back.”

She held out her hand and he took it. Offered a smile as a bonus.

* * *

They didn’t talk much in the next two weeks. Just an exchange of murmurings as he dropped off her tray. Nothing more. Though that meant there weren't anymore assassination attempts either. Thankfully. Anderson had made sure of that but even if he hadn’t, James was on full alert. He didn’t need to be taught that lesson ever again.

In between the silences, sometimes James heard things. The grunts of a workout, the gentle lull of piano playing through surround sound or the steady rhythm of fists pounding a punching bag. He was dying to get in on it but seemed Shepard needed some space. He could respect that.

However, just before the ass crack of dawn, on Thursday, strange noises came from Shepard’s room and he leaned in closer to the door, ear up against the frame. He strained to listen but he was fairly certain that she was crying. No. Shepard was _sobbing._

James felt like he’d walked in on something terribly personal and yet, he couldn’t pry himself away. Because it was at that moment that he realized she was human, just like him. Not an ideal to be placed on a pedestal.

He knocked once, just gently. “Shepard. You okay?”

Of course she wasn’t fucking _okay_ , who was he kidding. But it wasn’t like he was a friend. He couldn’t just barge in there.

“No,” was her muffled reply.

“You want some company?” he called through the door.

“I don’t know.” Her voice was even quieter than before.

“I’m comin’ in,” he said. And he turned the knob slowly, giving her plenty of time to back out of the option.

But she didn’t protest as he opened up the door into her very dark room. He stumbled in blindly- _literally_ \- and smacked his shin on the edge of the coffee table trying to find the kitchen light. Which was the only light he actually ever used and knew how to find. 

_Why the fuck hadn’t he learned where all the light switches were?_

There was probably one back by the door when he came in. He probably could’ve found it had he tried.

“Shepard?” He called out to her, standing still a moment to adjust to the darkness and avoid any other obstacles.

There was faint sniffling to his left. As the room came into focus, he went for the kitchen light and found his way to the bedroom. Followed the sound of her sniffling to the closet and when he pulled open the door, she was sitting on the top of the small shelving unit, face buried in her hands. Instinct took over and he reached out to grab her shoulder like he would any other comrade. But he hadn’t braced himself for the impact of her arms around his waist, a full on Hulk hug. He thought all the air might leave his lungs, or that he’d pop like a balloon.

“O—kay,” he wheezed. “Shep. I. Can’t. Breathe.”

She released him and uttered an apology. 

“I feel broken,” she said. So James took her hand and held it in his.

“Hey, you’re not broken. Just scarred. You’re okay.” 

Her lips trembled. “No. No I’m not. I’m–I’m…” She went all quiet. 

So he just stood there and held her hand. There weren’t really words for these kinds of things but he knew what she meant. The brokenness— he hadn’t even been through all the shit she had and he felt the cracks. But Shep was strong. Stronger than most from what he’d gathered in the short while of knowing her. Still, it couldn’t be good for someone like her to be locked up in isolation when she felt her calling was beyond four walls.

She leaned forward, resting her head on his chest and ever so cautiously, he raised his other hand and softly smoothed it down her back, rubbing the gentlest of circles. He breathed deep, steadying breaths until eventually, she did too and stilled. He held her like that until the morning sunrise leaked it’s light into the open closet. But he was pretty certain that if she hadn’t pulled away, he could hold her forever.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. welcome

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ~  
> Night turns to day  
> And I still have these questions  
> Bridges will break  
> Should I go forwards or backwards?  
> ~
> 
> She’s been confined to a singular space before but not like this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [A Whisper-Coldplay](https://open.spotify.com/track/7KolrFGhfDi1JTSgQBT5sI?si=0nzY8IwqSJCnoOcVi_Skag)

Zero dreamt. And in her dream there was the steady drip from a faraway faucet and the whir of a mechanical arm above her. She was a finished product, a series of synthetic threads stitched all together in one perfectly manicured masterpiece. She swiveled her neck from side to side, up and down. Noticed the walls were all white and there were windows that she couldn’t see out of or into. No reflection. No light coming through. But the fluorescents above her were blinding as they flickered in sync with the beep from the heart monitor just up and to her right. She slid down from her bed and her feet touched cool tile. She stood but she was like a newborn babe, never having learned to walk. Her muscles gave. She hit the floor, face first.

Zero’s eyes flew open to the harsh light of day. She held her hand to her cheek, a memory of pain lingering there as she smoothed her palm across her scars. She grabbed her blanket and pulled it up to her face, letting the softness sink into her skin, the warmth to settle her into reality. She was real. Flesh and bone. Blood and soul. She repeated this mantra as she took five deep breaths. 

She didn’t remember falling asleep but she remembered everything before that and her head was a throbbing remnant of such an emotional release. She rolled onto her side, away from the sliver of light streaming through the window and groaned. _James_. What the hell was she supposed to do with that. She didn’t know what she was thinking. Was she even thinking at all? God, she was hurting for sure but she’d crossed a boundary she said she never would again. But James’ comfort had come so _easily_ and so _gently_ that she’d lost her fucking mind. She’d never been handled like that. _Tenderly_. Never by Kaidan. Never by Bailey. No, it wasn’t allowed. Even when they’d wanted to, she bolted before any root of affection had time to grow. So why the fuck had she welcomed James? Why had she let herself sink into his open arms, tell him she felt broken? She didn’t even know him. He was a stranger. And the one keeping her from her priorities at that. 

She slipped out from under her covers and threw on some clothes and made straight for the bathroom. She stared back at herself in the mirror. Her eyes, like two mysterious black holes, took in her appearance. She was tired as all hell and her hair was much too long for her liking. A razor, which was a privilege she currently didn’t have, could solve the hair problem but the dark circles would have to be the new trend. God, she missed her makeup, especially her lipstick and her creams–Liara always found her the best ones. She missed Liara. Missed her ship. Missed living outside four walls.

She frowned and looked away, scavenging for her toothbrush and paste. She finished up her morning routine in haste then made her way to the punching bag in the corner of the living room. A one-two punch for her shit circumstances. Another set of punches for allowing James in. Double time for being soft. She needed the sweat to run down her face, needed the weakness to leave her body. Two parts pain to one part gain. That was her formula. 

“Morning Shep. Thought I’d bring you breakfast in bed. But looks like that plans shot.”

She ignored him. Huffed through more blows. 

“Damn. Shouldn’t you be taking it easy on that hand?”

She said nothing. Just kept punching.  
  


“Seriously. Shep. Take it easy.”

One more punch and numbing pain vibrated up her arm. She steadied herself against the bag, hiding her discomfort behind an inscrutable mask. It should’ve been healed by now. But she could guarantee it would remain tender for at least another week.

  
“I’m fine,” she said. 

He set the tray down and grabbed her a towel, tossing it her way. She caught it and wiped the sweat off her face and off her neck. Her head was killing her.

“You wanna talk a–“

“No.”

He held his hands up in surrender, smirking a little. 

Ass. Though somehow, she knew he would keep her vulnerabilities to himself and he wouldn’t bring it up again unless prompted. She gave him kudos for that. She hung her towel up and picked up her plate of bacon and eggs, shoveling bacon into her mouth while plopping onto the new sofa. Anderson had replaced the old with a replica. An involuntary shudder took over her as she thought about the concept. She was a just replica too, a replaceable object. A pawn in a game where everyone was losing.

“Hey, you think I could have a swing at that sometime?” James was helping himself to the oatmeal on her tray. 

“What?”

“The punching bag? Think I could use it sometime? Gets pretty boring around here.”

She blinked. _He_ was bored? She almost laughed at the idea. 

“Sure. Just don’t break it.” She chomped on another slice of bacon. 

James finished off the bowl and washed it in the sink. She tallied up more kudos for him in her head: clean, tidy, gentle, funny, a hell of a body. She stopped herself there and shooed those thoughts out of her mind. She let the sound of muffled punching soothe her as she finished off her plate. She washed up her dishes and sat back on the couch and watched James pound away. 

* * *

Her mind took her way back, it did that a lot these days since she had an infinite amount of time on her hands. Time to contemplate and time to stew. She had surrendered herself willingly—what was it?—nearly four months prior. She knew she was lucky. The batarians wanted blood and the council wanted a military brig. But she was Shepard and she was following Hackett’s orders and so she was _spared._ But the reality was that the spotless, furnished apartment on the top floor that she was housed in, was more of a punishment than the other options. Here, she would be left with the weight of her decisions day after day after day with no relief. There wasn’t even a routine to stick to. No job to throw herself into. Just the slow unraveling of her sanity.   
  


Had she made it all up? The prophetic prothean beacon, Saren’s indoctrination, the Collector kidnappings, the inevitable arrival of the reapers, Sovereign, as well as every event that pointed to mankind’s impending destruction? Was she a soldier who let the events of Akuze warp her mind? Had she fabricated a world in which she was a sacrificial hero when she was really just a soldier unhinged? Or maybe she was simply a droid merely pretending to be Commander Shepard while in reality just a puppet on Cerberus strings. Or worse yet, indoctrinated.

Anderson had reassured her that she wasn’t crazy. And Hackett, too. But goddamit, he was the one who sent her on the almost impossible mission to save a doctor long past saving. He was the one who’d asked for a _small_ favor which stuck her in between a rock and a hard place and just like every time before, she sacrificed the few to save the many. It was Hackett who suggested the surrender.

Hackett had been worried:

_“The batarians will be out for blood, no doubt about that, and there is just enough evidence for a witch-hunt.”_

_“I don’t regret what I did. It was either all lives lost to the reapers or 300,000 Batarian lives. I tried to warn them. There wasn’t enough time.”_

_“I have no doubt Shepard, that you did the right thing, but not everyone will see it that way.”_

_“What do you suggest?”_

She couldn’t run. Honor still mattered to her so she reluctantly went back to Earth. Because of her cooperation, there was leniency. But her time to stop the reaper invasion was growing shorter by the second and she was locked up. She was beginning to realize that nobody gave a flying fuck. 

“Mind if I use your shower?” James brought her back to present. 

“Uh, sure,” she said.

“Damn, what did that fork ever do to you?” He smirked as he walked away.

She hadn’t even realized she still had her fork. Didn’t realize that she’d stabbed it into the table and was bending it in half. Didn’t realize the faucet was steadily dripping or that an entire half hour had passed. Didn’t realize...

The flimsy metal snapped.


	3. closer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard isn’t all serious all the time. But she’s still pretty serious.
> 
> [Fix You-GnuS Cello](https://open.spotify.com/track/1NYvnEgWPRLhsrisW2kdU2?si=Y5ZCMnIgSVmfgfY_qL4SqQ)

Shep’s shower was immaculate and unnecessarily large. Far better than James’ in the apartment below. Ridiculous that a prisoner had better amenities than him. But it was Shep after all and he shouldn’t have been surprised by the special treatment. 

He kind of just stood there under the water. Letting the tension unravel in his neck, his shoulders, his back. He hadn’t taken his time with showering in–well he couldn’t even remember how long it had been. Her soap smelled like almonds as he popped the cap and her shampoo and conditioner looked expensive. He made sure to take advantage of it all. When he got out he searched for a towel and realized she had a stack in a warming drawer. Really? He was starting to wish he was put on house arrest.

“Water pressure is nice,” he said, coming out with the towel wrapped around his waist. 

“Isn’t it?” Shep was scribbling in one of the black books that had been on the shelf.

She flicked her eyes up and away. Was she flushed? He couldn’t tell.

“I doubt I have anything that fits you,” she said, keeping her eyes on her book.

“Yeah, about that…”

“Should’ve thought that shower through, huh?”

“What? I can’t make a good guard in a towel?”

“You could as long as you don’t get embarrassed when the towel inevitably falls.”

“Inevitable huh?”

Her pen clicked and she closed her book with a thud.

“Ten credits that towel won’t last a minute.”

“Sure you can afford that?”

“Oh I can afford to be paid ten credits.”

He laughed. “Alright. Deal.”

She smirked. Quicker than lightning, his towel was snatched and she had disappeared into her room, cackling like a crow. 

“Hey! ¿Está loca?”

“You owe me ten credits!” Shep yelled from behind the door. 

“Cheating wasn’t part of the deal!” 

She responded with another round of cackling. Infuriating. Though he had to admit seeing her playful vs somber was new and a nice change.

“Who’s the ten year old now?” he asked outside of the door. 

“Oh, don’t be such a sore loser.”

“I’m getting cold out here.”

“Turn up the heat.”

“I don’t think you can handle the heat Shep.”

The door cracked just enough for the towel to smack him in the face.

“You still owe me ten credits. And good luck walking back to your teensy weensy apartment without getting noticed.”

James muttered a few profanities under his breath. He really didn’t think things through with the shower. But he gathered himself up nice and tall and carried his ass back down to his own apartment. Knowing that there were cameras everywhere, he made a note to get the footage later before someone caught sight of them and rumors began. He could only imagine what that would do to his future career. Never mind the questions Anderson was bound to have. He scurried down the hall, even hid behind a waste basket when one of the other soldiers on duty passed him by. He hurried around the corner, his door only a few feet away, only to end up smacking straight into the Admiral himself.

“Admiral.” He saluted without hesitating. The towel dropped. If Shep could only see him now. 

Anderson served him a dish of silence with a side of disturbed confusion.

“You dropped your towel.”

James scrambled to get the damn thing tied back around. He should’ve thought to grab something to clasp it, though it wasn’t like shep would have any safety pins lying around. 

_Fuck._

“When I asked you to keep an eye on Shepard, I had really believed you to be the best for the job.”

“I am, Sir. This–it’s not at all what it appears to be.”

“I can assume I won’t need to tell you to never leave your post again?”

“No, sir.”

The Admiral nodded. “Good. Run along and when you return, escort Shepard to her psych evaluation.”

“Yes, sir.” He saluted again and did an about face, nearly sprinting to his apartment.

  
  


* * *

  
  


“Hey, thanks for not running away on me. I would’ve had my whole ass handed to me.”

“Whole ass? Did you already get half your ass handed to you?”

“Very funny.”

“Hmm, I seriously contemplated jailbreaking but,” she gestured dramatically in the air, “the flies on the wall would alert the whole goddamn Calvary and I’d be swarmed as soon as I stepped a single foot into the fucking hallway. Besides, I chose this for Hackett’s sake and I make good on my word.”

“Good to know. I ran into Anderson on my way back up.”

“Ahh, there it is. The half ass part. He caught you in the towel?” 

“No, after I was dressed,” he lied.

She pouted. “Well that’s disappointing.”

“You’re going to be even more disappointed when I tell you that he wants me to escort you down to get a psych eval.”

She sighed. “Really? _You’re_ the one scooting down the hall in a towel and _I’m_ the one in trouble?” 

He shrugged. “Tough break.”   
  


* * *

On the way back up the elevator, Shepard was far more subdued than at the start of the day. 

“How’d the eval go?”

“That’s not the simplest question to answer. You ever had a mission where you had to make a tough call because your choices were shit?”

His mind immediately went to Fehl Prime. “Yeah.”

”After you made that call, did you end up with an eval?”

He nodded. “Point taken.”   
  


They stopped at her door.

“I think I need some space now.”

“Yeah, I get it,” he said and he wandered the empty hallway to pass the time.

Later In the evening, James planned to quietly drop off her meal tray and go but when he entered her room he noticed all the furniture shoved out of the way and up against the walls. Then he was utterly enchanted by her movement. The room was filled with the sound of piano and cello and she was dancing contemporary ballet. She didn’t notice he was there as he watched for a full minute. The melody was somber but moving and she was a force herself, carried away on each note. A pirouette here and a fantastical jump there and utter amazement everywhere on his part. 

So this was how she handled her feelings, with force and grace and all things unspoken. When she spun again, she spotted him and he was disappointed in himself for causing the disruption. She jogged over to him, catching her breath. 

“Nobody told me you danced,” he said.

“Because nobody knows. As far as anyone is concerned, all I can do is a little awkward sashaying on the dance floor. It’s been a running joke for years and I’d like to keep it that way.”

A secret. Her own personal way of dealing. And one hell of a beautiful way at that.

“My lips are sealed.” 

Her shoulders softened as she shoved him out the door. “Thanks for the food James. I’ll see you later.”

Little did she know that he was saving all this data and filing it away for later.


	4. smooth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James and Shep get to know each other a little better.
> 
> [Brazos de Sol-Carlos Rivera](https://open.spotify.com/track/0VWkQKCED3MvxzvQavK1uz?si=4OtrRFQhS1m5N0yBBiw9EQ)

A month went by and Zero was simply bored. Not sad or lonely or broken. Just completely and utterly bored.

“James!”

He came rushing in, ready to take someone out. She couldn’t help but laugh at him.

He paused, lowered his weapon when he saw there was no immediate danger. 

“Why are you yelling?” he asked when he realized there wasn’t any danger at all. 

“Will you get me a razor?”

“You yelled my name to ask me for a razor? Was it too much to open the door and ask that way?”

She leaned up against the doorway, hands behind her back. “Well yeah actually.” 

He shook his head but there was a smile there. “You know you’re not supposed to have a razor don’t you,” he said.

“Pretty please. I need a haircut.”

“No.”

“Why?”

“I think you know why, Shep.”

“What if you are the one to cut my hair? You won’t be in any trouble then.”

He laughed. “Fine.”

She threw him a grand smile of her own.

“It’ll cost you though.”

Her smile faded. “How much?”

“Not much. Just ten credits.”

“Wow. Still hung up on that, huh?”

James shrugged and smirked. “So, do we have a deal or no?”

Zero combed her fingers through her hair. “I’ll concede. After all, I'm paying for a service.”

“You’ll have to wait til my shift ends though. Anderson warned me not to leave my post.”

She rolled her eyes. “When’s that?”

He glanced up at the clock. “A while from now.”

“Shit.” She went into the kitchen, grabbed two beers from the fridge and poured them into mugs. She brought one to James who had made himself cozy on the couch. “Can’t you just grab one while you’re getting lunch? Which, I should mention I’m out of coffee. Please get me more while you’re out?”

“You finished all the coffee I gave you?”

She nodded. Sipped. “Yeah.”

“But I brought that two days ago!”

“You didn’t bring enough, obviously.”

“That _can’t_ be good for you. Do you ever sleep?”

“I do in fact, sleep on occasion.” She folded her legs up in her lap and curled her hands around her mug. “So, you going to get that coffee too or what?”

“Yeah, sure. Anything else on your list?”

“Nah, pretty sure that’s it.” He reached his arm across the couch then and she tried not to stare but it was the first time she could really see his tattoos up past his bicep. But of course he noticed. 

“See something you like?” He was grinning at her.

She narrowed her eyes at him, unappreciative of his comment, per usual. “Something alright. But I was just looking at your tats. Do you mind?” 

He gave her a nod of approval. So she set her mug down and scooted towards him, kneeling on the couch to get a closer look.

“I have more too. On my back and neck. My chest. Eventually I want to get another. Just waiting for the right idea to come along.”

She studied them. Reached out her fingers to run along the black markings but hesitated in the air, remembering boundaries were a thing. “Nice work by your artist,” she said, settling her hand on her knee.

“Thanks. That one was done on Omega.”

She sat back down on her end. “Huh, Omega is a hell hole but there’s some good shit hidden in its darkest corners.” 

She shrugged out of her hoodie then, showing off her own sleeve of tattoos. A galaxy and unexplored planets with a comet burning bright and all of it just on the fringes of a black hole. It trailed up past her bicep and curled around her shoulder, sprawling out across her posterior deltoid. 

James was not as hesitant as he scooted up next to her, holding her hand and exploring each detail. She couldn’t help the goosebumps that showed. “Damn, this is nice.”

  
  


“I’m hoping once I get out of here to start a second sleeve. I want an ocean scene I think.”

He let go of her arm and placed two fingers on her chin, turning her face towards him. “And who did this one?”

He was speaking of the one that ran up and down the right side of her face and neck. A small display of her love for all things space. Done in simple lines and black ink. She was still proud of it and thankful that Cerberus hadn’t ruined it with their cybernetics.

“It’s old now. Got it from a little parlor not too far from here actually.”

He dropped his hand and she instantly missed its warmth but couldn’t place why. She wanted to flood him with a million questions. When did he get each of his tats, what do they mean and how did he get his scars? But to ask meant there was a chance he wanted knowledge to be reciprocated. It was too much work to be known. 

She hopped off the couch then, stuffing her arms back into her hoodie. “Lunch time?” 

* * *

  
  


James came back with an arm full of groceries and quite the self satisfied smirk.

“When you get out of here, I don’t ever want to hear that I did nothing for you,” he said as he set everything on the counter. He pulled out a tray of grocer maki which had her salivating anyway. Popped that into the fridge then pulled out two more bags of coffee. Then the razor she had been longing for.

“This good?”

“Perfect,” she said. “Let’s get this ball rolling.” She rubbed her hands together then bounded to the bathroom. She settled into the stool in front of the mirror while James grabbed a towel, helping to tuck it in around her neck.

“Okay. I think we’re good to go. Any special requests?”

“Just shave the sides. I kinda dig this length. I just don’t want it all over,” she said.

“So faux hawk?” he asked.

“Not quite. Don’t want that much shaved. Not like yours. Though, yours looks nice. Just sides of my head and the back. Don’t touch the top.”

“Okay. You sure you don’t just wanna do this yourself?”

“I trust you Vega. My life has been in your hands for five months now. If you screw up, I just won’t pay you the ten credits.”

He seemed pleased with that.

“I’m going in,” he said. A final warning.

She felt the first clump of hair go and it was like flying for her. James’ hand was on her shoulder as he worked and he bit his lower lip too, which she found to be sort of endearing. 

It had been such a long time since anyone touched her head. She’d been shaving all her hair off since she was seventeen years old. It was different to have him doing it now, much more relaxing than she expected. It brought forth a yawn.

“I keep thinking,” he said, “about your mom…”

“My mom? You haven’t even met her and you’ve been daydreaming about her huh?”

“Very funny. Remember who has the razor.”

“Oh is that a threat?”

“Nice try. But I’m not letting it go this time.” Another clump of hair fell to the floor and he switched sides. “I’m talking about what you said about your name. You said she believed in numbers. What does that mean?”

“So I’m under interrogation?”

“I’ve got the razor,” he reminded her again, his reflection smirking at her.

“Fine. Fine. I’ll bite.” She sighed dramatically though. “I was born and bred in the military. Mom and dad were both high ranking officers and they pushed me hard, mom especially. I asked her once why she named me Zero and she told me it was so she could cut the attachment. So that _I_ could never have an attachment. ‘Numbers are easier than names, Zero. They strip away the person and leave the machine. Makes you tougher, more willing to do what others won’t, makes you the best. I want you to be the best Zero. I want you to be the ruthless hero the Alliance needs.’ And so, that’s just how it’s always been. I don’t know. The thing is, I was a person and not a number and it’s hard to erase a soul.”

James paused on the cutting. Squeezed her shoulder. 

“Yeah, kinda ruins the mood,” Zero went on, “that’s why I like to keep that one under wraps.”

James went back to cutting. “That’s some bullshit she told you.”

“Yeah, it was. But younger me just wanted my mom to love me. Dad was better at it though.”

“Did you fulfill her dreams for you? Does she see you as the best?”

Zero laughed darkly. Met his gaze in the mirror. “Nah, I’m one major fucking disappointment.”

“Aren’t we always.” He shook his head. “Alright, I think you’re good to go. Any complaints?”

Zero turned her head back and forth and inspected her cut. “Nope. I’d say it’s a job well done. As soon as I get the hell out of here, I’ll make sure you get your credits.”

“Good,” he said, “I deserve them.” He winked at her. Then rinsed the razor, helped undo the towel and left it all neat by the sink before exiting the bathroom. She followed soon after.

“So what’s your story?”

“I don’t know Shepard, kind of a long story.”

She looked all around her. “Well good thing my schedule’s cleared.”

“I bet you could just ask Anderson for my service record.”

She folded her arms across her chest. “But I’m asking you.”

“Alright, fine. But think you can dance and talk at the same time?”

She chuckled. “Oh, _I_ can dance.”

“I’m not talking about your fancy footwork here.”

“Oh shut up. Just step on over here and let’s go.” She moved across the room, cracked her knuckles. Did a few arm stretches. 

  
  


“Okay Lola, let's do this.” He strode across the room to meet her.

“Aw don’t go soft on me, Vega. Bring all you’ve got.” She took a swing at him but he dodged.

He chuckled. “You remind me of my old CO.”

She swung again. “Oh yeah? Who the hell was that?”

“Captain Toni.” His fists were up, but not near his face where they should be. “He was a hard ass sonofabitch but he was a good leader.”

She blasted him right in the nose. Every tall asshole always miscalculated her. Blood dripped down to his lip.

“Nice,” he breathed, unaffected. 

“What do you mean _was_?” 

“Died—“ they circled each other—“with most of my squad—protecting a civilian colony from a Collector attack.”

He threw a quick punch. She dodged. But took his jab in the left cheek. It stung, felt _good_. “And the colony?”

“It was either them–“ He threw another punch that she blocked. “–or the intel we had on the Collectors…” She dodged two more punches, one right after the other. “Intel we could’ve used to destroy them.” 

He grunted. Then his voice grew deeper, angrier. “I chose the intel.” There was a lot of power in his fist that came flying her way. 

She shuffled backwards. “Sorry. That’s a tough call.”

“The best part was,” he went on as they circled again, “we didn’t really need the intel in the end… because you were out saving the galaxy by taking down the entire Collector homeworld.”

She tried to catch him off guard with an uppercut but he blocked. Countered with a left hook. She dodged.

“You didn’t know,” she blocked two more blows,” You can’t blame yourself Vega.”

“Who says I’m blaming myself?”

It was her turn to get in a few punches. But punching him was like punching a wall. “Then who do you blame James?”

There was more punch throwing, dodging and blocking on both ends. She could admit, she was getting a little tired. 

“Who says I’m blaming anyone?”

“I do. The way you threw yourself at Cerberus without a question of safety. You’re all tank, no stealth. You don’t care if you live or die.”

“So?” He punched again. She evaded.

“So, maybe it would be better to have you around when the fucking reapers get here.”

“Or maybe I just have the guts to do whatever the fuck it takes to end the reaper threat…”

He was angry enough that he was distracted. All it took was one hit to knock him off balance and then she had him flipped over and on the floor. She was nearly out of breath but she offered her hand.

“Yeah? Good. But if you’re serious about all this shit–if you’re even half as committed as you say you are, I fucking need you alive.”

He took her hand and she pulled him to his feet. “Thanks for the pep talk.”

“Anytime.” She winked and went for a towel in the kitchen and a glass of water. She grabbed an extra of both for him too.

He took the water and gulped the whole thing down and handed the empty glass black to her. “Hey, thanks for the dance, Lola.”

“Lola huh?” 

“You kinda look like a Lola.”

“You’re making me blush James.”

“Well if that’s all it takes…”

She wagged her finger at him. “Don’t get any big ideas.”

“Don’t worry, my ideas are very small. Tiny.”

She laughed. “I’m going to take a shower and then I’m going to eat some of that maki because I’m fucking famished.”

“I’ll think I’ll do the same.”

“I’m going first. You get the cold water. And I hope you brought some clothes this time.”

“Ha! I learned my lesson.” He jabbed a thumb in the direction of his grocery bags.

Shepard set her glass down on the counter and disappeared back into the bathroom. Her sweat towel went into the laundry and she got her shower started. Then she stared at herself in the mirror, grasped the edge of the counter and looked even closer. Her scars had healed a bit more, the cracking ted getting dimmer with every passing day. “Well, hello there Lola. Looking good.” Then she laughed as she finger gunned her reflection, turned and stepped into the shower.


	5. gone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Leaving Earth](https://open.spotify.com/track/59tNhyTuoOXNOrtrXPeQlg?si=s0NsH2q1Skm7t5vYxpXrvQ)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the leaving earth scene with a few extra scenes to hopefully still make it interesting. I feel it’s important to still keep this in-game scene for this fic.

It was a Sunday, six months into his guard duty with Shepard. Though, he had to admit it didn’t feel much like duty anymore. That morning, he made her a three egg omelette packed with cheese, green pepper, onions, mushrooms, spinach and tomatoes. He topped it off with some jalapeño too, knowing she was a fan.

She wasn’t awake yet when he dropped it on her bedside table and he would’ve let her lie but she was half yelling, half whimpering in her sleep. Saying something about Horizon and maybe Kaidan. He wasn’t entirely sure. Only knew it couldn’t have been good.

He bent down and shook her gently. “Hey. Lola.”

She jolted up in bed on the defense. Thank god she hadn’t aimed lower than his gut. 

“Whoa. Hey, it’s just me,” he grunted. He steadied himself on the beside table and straightened himself out.

“Vega?” She rubbed the sleep from her eyes. “The fuck you doing?”

“I thought I was being nice.”

She glanced over at the tray of food.

“Oh damn, that looks amazing. Sorry I woke up a bit… rough.”

“Good to know you  _ do _ sleep.”

“I told you I did on occasion. But Jesus, don’t wake me like that ever again.”

“Like what? Gently?”

“No, like, never at all.”

“Not making any promises.” He gestured to the bed and Shepard scrunched herself up towards the frame. “Mind if I sit?”

“Be my guest.”

James thought the bed was too soft. His hand left an imprint as he lowered himself, but then the white coverlet smoothed out again when he settled his hands on his knees. He didn’t like how white everything was in her room either. It was more like an institution. Where was the color? The knick-knacks gathering dust bunnies that silently stated someone lived their life here? Or even a shriveled up house plant long forgotten? He wondered if Shep was the type to kill or nurture her plant. 

  
  


“You okay?” he asked. This room explained why she didn’t like sleeping. 

“Yeah, why?” She stabbed her fork into the omelette and shoveled the whole forkful into her mouth. “Jesus, this is fucking delicious.”

“Nothing. Never mind.”

“Did you make this?” She tipped the fork towards him.

“Yep.”

“Thank you.” She took another bite. Swallowed. “I haven’t tasted something this good since Kaidan made me dinner before…” She cut herself off. Stabbed some more omelette and didn’t bother finishing what she was saying.

“Before?”

“Forget it. Just know this is good. Thank you.”

James held his head in his hand. Debated whether he should pull or let go on this. He wouldn’t say he and Shep were best friends but he felt closer to her than most people, especially over the past few months. 

“You’re welcome,” he said.

There was a soft silence that passed between them as the morning’s light, though filtered through the sheer curtain, warmed their shoulders.

“I miss so much,” she said. A far off look in her eyes. 

“What do you miss the most?”

She finished chewing. Held her fork aloft. “My cabin on my ship. It was mine, you know? I had these dumb model ships that I’d put together a bit haphazardly and they sat on my shelves. A pothos vine from earth, the last gift from my father, that had grown so much I had to have it hung beside my bed so it had room to climb and be it’s viney self. And I had this fish tank that only had three fish in it–Blu-ray, Fisstech and Skooma. Had this hamster too…”

James tried to hide his chuckle but it escaped anyway.

“I am trying to be serious here and you’re laughing at me?”

“I can’t help it. You named two of your fish after video game drugs?” He started laughing harder.

She pushed him playfully. “I thought it was clever.”

“Oh it’s clever alright.” His laughter died down. 

“You mock me now but wait til I get out of here.”

“You going to buy a new fish? Name it Spice? You could go with Red Sand. Take it up a notch.”

“No. Not Red Sand. That shit does some serious damage. Might consider Spice though. That’s a good name.” She finished the last of her omelette then patted her stomach. “Phew. Anyway, what about you? You miss anything?” 

“I miss being useful. Doing missions. Flying.” He shrugged. “I don’t know. Being cooped up isn't the life for me.”

“I could drink to that.”

“Oh!” He got up hastily then, grabbed her mug of coffee and hurried back. “Forgot this. What do you take?”

“Nothing,” she said. “I like it bold and bitter…”

“Just like your soul?” 

She winked. “Precisely.” Then curled her hands around her mug and drank deeply. “What do you miss that’s yours though,” she continued. “Like who are you besides soldier and–“ she squeezed his arm–“guy who clearly spends too much time working out?” She let go and grasped her mug close again.

“First off, one can never work out too much.” He flexed. “Look at me…”

“Oh I’m looking,” she smirked. 

“See. Exactly. That’s the payoff right there.”

“I think there’s more to it than that Vega. There’s more to you than brawn. I don’t know what the hell it is but I’ll get you to crack. Eventually.”

He just laughed. Then he got a call on his earpiece. Anderson needed to see him.

“I gotta go Shep, I’ll be back in a bit.”

“Where are you going?” she asked. “What’s going on?”

He shrugged. “Not sure.” He gave her a soft smile then disappeared.

  
  


* * *

James had been gone for some time and the afternoon’s sun was refreshing even through tinted glass. Zero found herself staring out the window, watching a little boy play with his toy plane on the grassy rooftop not too far below. God, she wished she could be out there. The kid seemed to be having more than enough fun for the both of them though. She could take solace in that. She pushed off the glass and James burst into her room as she turned.

“Commander.” He saluted her too.

“What the fuck? Why? I thought I told you not to call me that and now we’re back to square one.”

“Not supposed to salute you either… we gotta go. The defense committee wants to see you.”

“Oh this must be serious. You’ve gone all soldier on me.” She followed after him, trying to keep his pace. But James had at least six inches on her. “What’s up?”

“Couldn’t say. Just told me they needed you… now.”

She spotted a familiar face coming towards them.

“Anderson,” she said.

“Admiral.” James saluted him too.

“You look good Shepard,” Anderson said as he shook her hand then slid in beside them, continuing forward. He patted her stomach. “Maybe a little soft around the edges.”

“I was always soft around the edges,” she told him. 

He gave her the side eye. “How you holding up since being relieved from duty?”

Other soldiers were flying past them. Someone bumped into her, mustered an apology then skittered off in the opposite direction.

“Doesn’t matter. Let’s quit the small talk. What’s going on? Why’s everyone in such a hurry?”

“Admiral Hacketts mobilizing the fleets. I’m guessing word’s made it around to Alliance Command—something big’s headed our way.”

He went up the first step towards the war council but she stopped there.

“The Reapers?” 

He stopped too, glanced back at her. “We don’t know...not for certain.”

She breathed deep and asked as calm as possible, “what else could it be?”

He shook his head. “If I knew that…”

“It’s the fucking Reapers,” she hissed. “And there’s no chance in hell that we’re ready for them.”

“Tell that to the defense committee.” He took off up the stairs and she dogged his heels.

“Unless we’re planning to talk the Reapers to death, the committee is an absolute waste of our precious time.”

“They’re just scared,” he said as they reached the last step. “None of them have seen what you’ve seen.” They hustled onward. “You’ve faced down a Reaper. Hell, you spoke to one—then blew the damn thing up! You’ve seen how they harvest us. What they plan to do with us. You know more about this enemy than anyone.”

Zero chuckled darkly. Stood still with her hands crossed over her chest. “That’s why they should’ve listened to me. But no, I was grounded. Got my ship taken away…”

“When you blew up the Batarian relay, hundreds of thousands of Batarians died.” 

She gritted her teeth. Everyone acted like she just  _ felt _ like killing a bunch of lives for no reason. She didn’t function like that. 

“It was either that or let the Reapers waltz on in and kill us all!” 

“I know that Shepard. And so does the committee…”

“Do they though? Then why didn’t they prepare? Why the fuck did they lock me up instead of letting me get help? I call bullshit on that.”

“If they didn’t, you’d have been court martialed and left to rot in the brig.”

She waved him off. “Pff they might as well have. I guess I have your good word to thank though don’t I?” 

“Yeah. You do. Besides, I trust you Shepard. And so does the committee.”

“Goody.” She clapped sardonically. Then stuffed her hands in her pockets. “You do realize I’m just a soldier Anderson. Not a politician. I’m not going to do jack shit in there.”

He clasped his hands behind his back. “I don’t need you to be either.” His hands unclasped and he briskly strode on. “I just need you to do whatever the hell it takes to stop the Reapers.”

They stepped through the automatic doors and the committee's lackey who looked like she hadn’t slept in a month said, “They’re expecting you two admiral.”

She gestured for them to follow and they allowed her to take the lead, stopping in the hallway just outside the council room.

“Good luck in there, Commander.” James held out his hand and she’d almost forgotten he was with them. She was so used to him having a say in all things prior, that his silence was foreign. In that moment, she missed his snark—his flirtations. Wished he would’ve cut all this serious shit with a sarcastic line. She took his hand and shook it, held it longer than she probably should’ve. Kept his gaze and wanted to embrace him but a voice cut through and she dropped it and all eye contact.

She turned, not expecting the little 

flutter in her chest after all this time. “Kaidan—“ She joined him and Anderson.

“How’d it go in there Major? Anderson asked.

“Okay I think. Hard to know. I’m just waiting for orders now,” Kaidan said.

Shep stepped forward. “Major?” She wanted to congratulate him. Hug him. Tell him how proud she was of him. But instead she could only offer a tight smile. After all, the timing was absolute shit.

Anderson asked, “you hadn’t heard?”

“No—might as well just call me Jon Snow.”

Nobody even cracked a smile. Tough crowd. 

Kaidan shifted from one foot to another. Lowered his eyes, just briefly. “Sorry Shepard. It’s been—well–“

“Hey. It’s not like we’ve been in constant contact. No need for sorries.”

Kaidan just stared at her and she stared back. There was so much to say. But she could tell he still wasn’t sure about her. She hated the way he looked at her like an imposter even if she could understand it.

Zero let out a sigh of relief when another officer showed up. “Admiral.”

“Come on,” Anderson said, following after the officer.

Zero passed by Kaidan and he offered her the smallest of smiles. If only she hadn’t majorly screwed everything up with him. She offered a tiny smile in return and rushed off after Anderson. Contemplation about her past would need to take the back burner. 

There was a world to save.

* * *

James joined Kaidan’s side.

“So you’re Kaidan.” 

Of course he knew who Kaidan Alenko was. Even without Shepard, the man was a legend in his own right. He’d accomplished things that James could only dream of doing. His face had been everywhere too, not as much as Zero Shepard but enough that everyone knew of him.

“Yeah,” Kaidan said, “and you are?”

“Vega. James Vega.” The two of them shook hands. “I’ve heard a lot about you.”

He seemed a bit taken aback. “From Shepard?”

“Huh? No.” James laughed a little. “Unless you count her moaning your name in her sleep.”

“Moaning in her—wait are you messing with me?” 

James nudged him. “Yeah a little. But for real, she did mention you in her sleep once. Only two coherent things though. Your name and Horizon. I doubt you can get much from that.”

Kaidan looked away, furrowed his brows. “Yeah. Can’t get much from that. So uh, how do you know Shepard?”

“You’re looking at her personal bodyguard.”

He nodded. “Shepard needing a bodyguard? That’s new.”

“On house arrest,” James explained.

His eyes lit up with understanding. “Oh. I’m sorry. That’s a tough break.”

James chuckled. “It wasn’t so bad. She only punched me in the face once.”

Kaidan raised a brow. “Just once?”

“She may have also handed me my ass in hand to hand.”

Kaidan laughed. “That sounds like Shepard.”

“Anyway, it’s good to meet you in person. There’s a lot of buzz about you—what you’ve accomplished and it’s pretty cool.”

“Well thank you. It’s good to meet you—“

There was an explosion. The ground shook beneath them. James and Kaidan stumbled then found their bearings on the opposite wall.

“What the hell was that?” James asked.

Kaidan had his fingers to his earpiece. “Admiral Anderson? Yeah. Armed and ready, Sir.”

James saw him nodding along. 

“What’s going on,” he asked. “Is Shep—everyone okay?”

“We need to go,” Kaidan said. 

James jogged at his pace as they headed towards the docking bay. Along the way, his peripheral caught a stream of red light. He stopped to stare out the window. 

“Look out!” Kaidan said and pulled him out of the way as the beam of light tore into the building. 

James muttered, “shit.”

He ran faster. They dodged other officers as they rounded the corner. 

“You have your gun?” Kaidan yelled over his shoulder.

“Yeah!” James yelled back.

“Might want to get it ready!” 

James obeyed. 

“We’ve got some husks coming up!” Kaidan yelled. 

“I don’t remember ordering any. Send them back.”

“I’d be happy to,” Kaidan replied and the two of them aimed and fired a round into them. 

The damn things just kept coming though.

“Hey! Major! I’m almost out of ammo and doesn't look like they’re letting up anytime soon.”

“Me too. We’re just going to have to make a run for it. Stock back up once we’re aboard the Normandy.”

James nodded and they took off again. Hearts beating erratically, they finally made it to the bay but at least a dozen husks were blocking their path.

“Shit,” James muttered. He fully prepared to have to melee the fuckers.

But it was all null and void when Kaidan used his biotics to toss the husks. Shards of glass scattered all over the floor. The husks were no longer a problem though. 

“That’s useful,” James said.

Kaidan gritted his teeth, touched two fingers to his temples. “Yeah,” he breathed. 

They ran forward. Straight into jammed automatic doors. James shoved past Kaidan and pushed them apart, making room for him to pass. Once they were both through, Kaidan led him to the Normandy, showed him where to stock up and within a minute they were off. 

* * *

  
  


Zero caught sight of the Normandy. “They’re almost here,” she said while taking down another cannibal. 

“About time!” Anderson yelled. 

“Let’s move it!” She yelled back. Together they ran and she jumped. Kaidan gripped her forearm, assisting her up.

“Welcome aboard Shepard,” Kaidan said. 

“Thanks.” Gave him a nod. “Come on!” she shouted at Anderson.

A shuttle pulled up across the way, attracting the attention of them both. 

“I’m not going,” Anderson told her. “You saw those men back there. There’s a million more like them and they need a leader.”

“Damn it! If you’re staying, I’m staying, we’re in this fight together,” Zero said.

Anderson shook his head. “It’s a fight we can’t win—not without help. We need every species and all their ships if we’re to even have a chance at defeating the Reapers. Talk to the council.”

Zero sighed. “And if they don’t listen, like they’ve been doing?”

“Then make them listen! Now go! That’s an order!”

“I don’t take orders from you anymore, remember?” She smirked. 

“Consider yourself reinstated,” he said as he tossed her tags at her. She caught them with ease. “Commander. You know what you have to do.”

She closed her eyes, hung the tags around her neck, then opened them slowly. “I’ll be back for you as soon as I can with every fucking gun in the galaxy.” She turned away then took a last glance at him. “Best of luck Anderson.” 

He gave her a nod. “You too.”

His silhouette saluted as they drifted apart. She saluted him back. 

Across the way, soldiers were helping civilians into shuttles.The young boy with his airplane, caught her eye and she was glad to see him safe. She hadn’t been able to get him out of the vents earlier and it was reassuring to see him safe and well. She could finally breathe. 

The two shuttles lifted. And just as her lips spread into a smile, a bright red beam of evisceration reminded her that she was in the middle of a war. It split the two shuttles in half, all sorts of debris plummeted to the ground. No survivors.

“No!” Shepard screamed. She raised her gun and pumped all her ammo into the reaper. “Fuck you! Fucking. Mother. Fucker!” She threw her gun aside. It went skidding across the floor as Kaidan pulled her in by the arms. The door shut and the ship took off. Leaving earth behind.

**Author's Note:**

> I know Shep was probably thrown into a legit brig but I’m HCing that she was just stuck on house arrest in some decent high rise apartment because it’s Shep and we all know there’s always special circumstances involving Shep.  
> The explicit rating is because I know near the end of this, there will be a couple explicit scenes but overall this fic is M for more mature themes but don’t want anyone to be surprised by explicit content when we get there. 
> 
> Anyway, thanks so much for reading 💛


End file.
